adventures in motherhood... lessons learned by a newbie mom

If you saw the title and thought you were about to learn some incredibly valuable lessons, filled with little secret gems of knowledge, prepare to be disappointed.

I feel like every which way I've turned this year I've learned lesson after lesson. I've learned the basics: how to breast feed, how to bathe a baby, drowsy signs, sleep training, how to get rid of diaper rash... basic mom 101. Some lessons have come the easy way. Others the not so easy way. SOOO I thought in honor of mama's everywhere I'd share a few of these little nuggets of "wisdom" I've had bestowed on me this year.  And yes I'm being sarcastic.

*Parenthood is a ginormous science experiment.  I thought I had it all figured out....before I was a mom. And as soon as I really do have it "all figured out" I get thrown for a loop. Again. And I've learned that I'm okay with it. Talk about a lesson in humility.












*All modesty goes out the window the moment that little baby makes their debut. It could be the umpteen doctors, residents, students, fellows, & nurses I had at C's birth. Or it could be that I got comfy real fast breastfeeding in public. (when a girls gotta eat, she's gotta eat. now) By now it is totally normal to go to the bathroom and shower with my child playing in the bathroom and playing peek-a-boo with the shower curtain.  Oh wait, is that just me?

*Don't waste your time with the ask a nurse line at your ped's office. Just make an appointment. (Pretty sure they had me blacklisted in the first 4 weeks... I resorted to calling from pay phones and giving other patients' names. A definite advantage to knowing half the patients at your ped's practice. Okay not really...but you get the point) Or just ask my friend Sarah. That girl has the best baby advice ever. You'd think she had a whole herd of babies!

*I can function on very very very little sleep.

*Speaking of no sleep...the whole "sleep while the baby sleeps" advice is crap. pure crapola. Turn on your Keurig when/if your baby takes a nap and drink some coffee and get that to do list taken care of! (Or at least get some blogging in...)

*Nap time is glorious...if your baby is a napper. Some babies aren't. (This was NEWS to me!) We all know which side of the napping spectrum my child is on...

*I can rock a hooter hider in public: restaurants, planes, airports, parks. You name it, I've rocked it there.

*Meltdowns happen. Embrace them. Grow with them. Drink wine with them.

*Coffee, chocolate and wine are staples in a new mom's house.

*Make sure to actually put diapers in your diaper bag. And wipes...that's what the little hard plastic case is for that came with the bag.

*Once your baby gets mobile changing their diapers gets, uhm....interesting. It's best compared to trying to wrestle a baby octopus.

*While we are on the subject of poop...babies poop a lot. And loudly. They don't care where they are...if they gotta go, they go.

*When your baby gets mobile you will no longer finish one thing you start. Your house will be cluttered with half accomplished tasks.

* "teething" is the new "colic". Both terms are incredibly ambiguous and basically describe not only every baby, but every stage that your baby goes through. We've been "teething" since Halloween and finally cut our first tooth!

*Speaking of teething... a teething baby is not a "cute" baby. They are one little ball of slobbery, gooey, messy, cranky snot. While they still might look "cute" to you...be prepared for some judgemental looks in public.

*Put a bow on the baby. 1) they always look a little cuter 2) there's never the awkward "is it a girl or boy" moment.

*Generic might be cheaper, but definitely not better when it comes to child proofing. Not only can my child pull out all of the socket protectors and open the child proof cabinet doors she likes to look at me and laugh while doing so. NO idea where she gets that trait.

*Hire a babysitter. now. Go ahead and book her once...twice...three times a month but do it now. Even if you don't have any babies yet. It will be the best decision you ever made.

*Parenthood is hands down the most beautiful, fun, amazing, heart-wrenching, terrifying, exciting adventure you will ever take. Enjoy each and every moment. Even the colicky ones.

*Why do I feel like the lessons are only just beginning....???


Thank you Campbell for making me a mama...It's the best mother's day gift I could ever receive. 

**pictures by the fabulous C.C. Miller photography**