Baby K: 1 month pics

I don't even know where to begin with this post. This little lady is nothing short of a miracle. She has an amazing & powerful story and it is my honor to be able to take her pics and document her beautiful growth each month. Is it possible to already have baby fever? Well I do. Seriously. How could you not when you look at this adorable little lady. And her parents? They are head over heels smitten with her. They can't stop smiling. I love it.

K & G- Thank you so much for allowing me to take her pictures! She is an absolute delight!

PS: Get ready to see lots and lots of pics. I couldn't choose just a few!

{embrace} the camera

Big 12 edition

We love our Big 12 sports at the Good house. 

We've got a CU & OSU alum in the same home.

Mat's medical training has been at OSU & KU...

I grew up watching Tech football...

My bro did his medical training at OU & CU.

Mat's parents & grandparents all went to KU

It's ridiculous how many ties we have to the Big 12.

So needless to say, you can imagine the horror I felt 

when the Big 12 was talking about disbanning.

I was also crazy hormonal and about 12 months prego. 

Football, Basketball whatever the sport  - we are faithful spectators...

And now so is C

Pre baby days....

And yes... OSU did win that night in case you are wondering

PS: Thank you Aunt Amy & Uncle DJ for the adorable game gear=)

The S family {sneak peek}

Well it's official. Someday I hope to add some little boys to the Good family. I had an absolute blast with these little guys and their parents recently. We played with toy cars, ran races, dressed up as bears and took a few pictures while we are at it. And are you kidding me?! These have got to be two of the cutest little boys I've ever seen!

J & C- thank you SO much for asking me to take you pictures. Your family is adorable and I had a blast!

Liars go to... well you know where they go

an ode to p90x

So all those dear friends who told me not to worry about loosing those prego pounds... "breastfeeding will just burn those calories right up. You'll be back in shape in no time." sure. whatever.
Liars.
(I'm assuming they left the hospital in their pre-prego jeans too. Yeah - Sure they did)
Brings to mind a sweet little song I learned in church (yes, I actually learned this in church. Sad, but true.) "Revelation Revelation 21:8.  Liars go to hell, Liars go to hell. Burn burn burn." (I am NOT kidding you. I learned that song in Sunday School. For real.  Ouch)
Liars
 So are the p90x people. Tony and gang assured me one night at some ungodly hour that I would be "ripped" after 90 days of sweating it out to p90x tapes. Well its been 7 weeks of 1 hr+ workouts, 6 days a week. I've put my time in with Tony, Pam the Blam, Drea & friends. I can recite every word to every workout.  I can even do pull-ups now and Nada. I don't even have 1/4 of a 6 pack.
Liars.
And those fb "friends" who feel the need to keep track of each and every prego pound they've lost on their fb statuses. Pin a rose on their nose. Annoying. (And I don't care if today you lost 12.7 pounds. sure you did.)
Granite I had 40 pounds to lose. Yes, I enjoyed my share of blue bell ice cream, cheeseburgers & Minksy's pizza while I was pregnant. No, I didn't workout as long as I would've liked to. But seriously - breastfeeding, p90x, running AND healthy eating and ...nothing? I breastfeed so much that my child has rolls on her fingers and toes (and I love every single roll)..... but come on!
So I'm back to pounding the pavement with my newest running buddy and our BOB. Which I love. (if you are prego it is a must) Running has always been my favorite workout. But  folks, THIS is a workout. Running...uphill... pushing 20 pounds...without using my arms.... well lets just say that Tony and gang can't prepare you for that.

And yes it's worth it...every single- stinkin'- stubborn pound. But I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't ready to be back in my pre-prego jeans. I'd even settle for a muffin top.
So tonight I give up. In honor of giving up I made these ridiculously delicious chocolate chip cookies. I've been obsessed with them since my friend Kristin brought them over after we had C. I will gladly run extra miles to be able to enjoy these. Trust me - they are scrumptious.

Yes I run with my phone. It's for
 capturing cute moments
facebooking during waterbreaks
emergency purposes

A girl and her octopus...
True Love

The S Family: Mommy Daughter pics

This weekend I had the honor of taking pictures of some of our dearest family friends. We have known this family for several year. We've shared many holiday dinners and miss E was even my flower girl.  These two share a very special love. They have a beautiful story that makes me teary eyed just thinking about. We had so much fun taking pictures... I never even had to ask them to strike a pose. As you can see they are crazy about each other.

G & E thank you so much for allowing me to take your pictures - and more importantly for letting us be a part of your lives. I had a blast taking your pictures!!

{embrace} the Camera: 4 months

So this is what I was doing 4 months ago today. 

Meeting my baby girl for the first time.

(don't you LOVE the nurse's face. She was seriously my fave.)

So hard to believe. I never knew life could be so good. This has been by far my favorite month. I wish I would have known the first 3 months how GOOD it gets... sleepless nights, scream fests & listening to the dyson 5 hours a day would've been a little easier to take!


She's now a whopping 12lb 7 oz (25%) & 24 inches long (50%). HUGE if you ask me!

What's new:

Laughing. She loves to giggle and crack herself up. She'll do just about anything for a laugh.

Feet. She found 'em & she's obsessed.

Naps. WAHOO THANK YOU JESUS! The girl can nap. 

Talking. Lots and lots of "talking"

Neck control. She's holding her head high like a big girl.

Sitting. Okay, not really. But she loves to be propped up on the couch next to me. Makes her feel like a big girl

Grabbing. She grabs everything in sight. I'm quickly learning what I have to keep out of her reach.

LOVES:

Singing... any time I sing a little song she chimes right in. 
Her Tongue....she pretty much sticks it out an chance she gets.

Splashing...bath time just got a whole lot more interesting.

TV... seriously don't judge. I try hard to keep her away from it, but it doesn't matter where we are she'll find a TV and is happy as a clam.

College football. Again the TV thing. We watch a lot of it around here. We're pretty sure she understands it. After all she IS brilliant.

Other babies... this is a new one, but she loves looking at babies and smiling at them.

DISLIKES:

Night time. Bedtime takes f.o.r.e.v.e.r. Seriously forever. 


Oh Campbell Hope, I love you so much. I never knew I could love someone the way I love you. You have changed us in so many wonderful ways. It is such a joy to see you grow. Your daddy claims I treat you like my little doll. It's not true. Well, maybe a little... I'm so happy God chose us to be your parents. 

Parker Grace Good

I need to go here. I need to write this. I don’t necessarily want to, but I need to. If it makes you sad or weirds you out – you don’t have to read it.

 I’ve been incredibly silent about her the past four months. I’ve only spoken with Mat, my parents and a friend about her. While my words have been few, my heart has had a constant longing for her. I’ve been feeling like something’s missing. It’s like the feeling of waking up after a bad dream where it haunts you during the day. You know - at random times you’ll find yourself thinking about the dream and get shivers. Or tears in this case. Most of the time I’m really good at stuffing it deep down inside and not letting myself “go there”. Here lately, it’s like I just can’t escape it. My grief has been stuffed to the top and is starting to overflow. I've come in contact with some emotions that I'm not comfortable with.

I don’t feel like I have a connection with her beyond a few pictures, a tiny box of ashes and a handful of memories. I remember her little kicks inside of me before she died. I remember seeing her lifeless little body on the ultrasound when we found out we lost her. Seeing her heart still – not beating at all.   I remember feeling her coming out of my body. I remember seeing her tiny body for the first time and even holding the little blanket she was wrapped in. I remember seeing what the extra weeks in my body had done to hers. I remember her tiny, delicate little foot.  I remember not wanting them to take her from the hospital room, but knowing she couldn't stay there forever... knowing that our family of four was to be a family of three. And that’s it. That’s all I have left of a little person who will forever change me as a mother and as a person.

I feel like everywhere I go lately I am bombarded with twins. Double BOB strollers with cute little twins on walks. Two sets of twins in whole foods. I actually had a breakdown at WF right in front of the filet mignons (hopefully the deli guy just thought I was really excited about the rump roast that was on sale). Twins on Kathy Lee & Hoda. It’s like a constant reminder of what was taken away from me. It’s a like a little slap in the face each time I encounter them. I find myself not only mourning a baby I’ll never get to see grow up, but also mourning not getting to be a mom to twins.

I know almost exactly what she would look like right now.  But I have no idea what her little personality would be like. Would she smile with her whole body like Campbell? Would she giggle when I sing her silly little songs? Would she give the super pouty lip like her sister? Would she like to curl up and cuddle with me first thing in the morning as she’s waking up? Would she fight going to bed at night? 

I still don’t understand why this happened; why our lives have ventured down this path. While I pray that God allows me to do something good – something healthy with this pain, I’m angry. I know God didn’t “DO” this. He didn’t take her from us, nor did he WANT us to lose her. But He didn’t stop it either. And this is where I am – trying to figure out why He didn’t let us have her. While I trust Him & love Him – I just don’t get it. And I’m mad. Mad at the doctor. Mad at the situation. Just plain mad. I know we live in a broken world. I get it – but knowing that doesn’t give me peace right now.

And then I feel guilty. I think about mamas I’ve gotten to know who’ve lost the only baby they were carrying. Early or late in pregnancy, some full term, some born with a fatal diagnosis to mamas who chose to carry them anyways. And I feel guilty because I have a beautiful, healthy little lady - yet still  want her sister to be here with us.

I feel a need to talk about her. To validate her. To connect with her. To remember her.  It still feels wrong to not to mention her when someone asks if I have children. (But seriously – talk about weirding someone out to go down that road with a stranger.) And at the same time I realize that my story could be scary for other pregnant mamas. They don’t need to hear it. They don’t need me to be the crazy lady at Hobby Lobby who freaked me out last year.

I’ve written this post over and over in my mind. Usually when I’m up in the middle of the night nursing and don’t need to worry about letting my emotions spill over. I kept putting it off. Didn’t know how or if I should share these feelings, but knowing just the same that I needed to.

Maybe it took this rainy, fall day while we've had a 4 hour power outage.  While the laundry had to wait.  While my laptop was actually charged. While Campbell decided to take a long nap to sit down and write it. 

prayers

Please take a moment and watch this video. Then keep these little guys in your prayers. They were born earlier this week at 27 weeks premature to a friend of mine from middle school. He and his wife are missionaries in Brazil, where the babies were born.


http://www.vimeo.com/15612712

{embrace} the Camera

teeny tiny toes

Love every single roll...even her toe rolls.

PS:

One of these pairs of tootsies is in desperate need of a pedi...

It's official...

I'm completely obsessed with this little face.

A visit to the pumpkin patch. Another parenthood adventure...

I had such high hopes.
Seriously. The weather and company were perfect. I compared pumpkin patches, sought out patch advice, mapped out directions, checked out prices, planned snacks, nursing, naps around the timing. The whole adventure was planned around college football games.  I charged my camera battery. I even made a pumpkin onesie, people.  I was ready. I could just see the photo opps running through my head. (Christmas card potential, perhaps??) I was so excited. Seriously excited.  This was my first ever pumpkin patch visit. I just knew C was going to have a blast. (As much of a blast as a 3 month old can have at a pumpkin patch)
It was going to be the perfect memory...

Well....it just wasn't her day. It all started when she had major spit up all over her pumpkin onesie. No worries, I had a cute back up outfit planned ... big brown flower bow & leopard tights. Adorable. (She looked more ready for a shopping trip to nordstroms than a pumpkin patch but whatever.)

Little did I realize how cold this "fall-esque" day really was. Did I think to pack C a jacket? No - it didn't match the outfit. Did I think to put a hat on my baby?  nope. Did I even put socks on my baby? No. You would think I could figure out how to dress my child for a cold day. When my friend's husband made fun of me for not putting socks on my child, I luckily found an adorable pair in her accessory diaper bag. I have socks, bows, outfits galore in there. (It's not so much a diaper bag as I had 1 diaper and an empty wipe container) I have got to figure out how to dress a baby for colder weather. And pack a diaper bag with something other than accessories.
So we made due by putting a blanket (which I actually had) over C while she was in the baby bjorn(yes I kept a very careful eye on her. I promise it was safe.). She was not the least bit happy. She screamed half the time we were there.  Just ask the other pumpkin patchers on the hay ride. They were ecstatic when we got out to look for a pumpkin.
She finally fell asleep for the rest of our adventure. So we only have 2 cute pictures of her at the pumpkin patch. Nothing like what I envisioned. I contemplated getting her asleep little body out and propping her up by a pumpkin but I just couldn't do it.

But there's always next year, right? Not if you ask Mat. He's already voted that we skip the pumpkin patch next year...

She's clearly ecstatic...
might be the only picture that she wasn't screaming or sleeping.

at least 2 of us are smiling...
I seriously love this pic.

CC discovering a pumpkin

Carter picking flowers for his mama

Brooke & CC - with her adorable pumpkin hat.
(why didn't I think of that?!)

the Santas...
Pretty much captures them perfectly =)

like a kid in a candy store...

tired family headed home...

So another valuable lesson learned. Be flexible. Have a back up plan. Learn how to pack a diaper bag.