Who knew?

So I'll be totally honest. I had NO idea what I was in for with this whole newborn stage. People told me I'd be tired. They said I would be busy and feel overwhelmed. I didn't listen. Not me. I'm a multi-tasker. I just knew I'd be back to my 5 am runs within a week or two and that I'd have this little lady on a schedule - MY schedule in no time. Ha. I've learned this week that motherhood is truly something you don't get until you live it.

Here's a few things that the "books" never tell you:

-Newborns really don't sleep as much as the books say they do. Not sure who wrote those books...but not a mom.
-In order to go to the bathroom you will need to put a bouncy seat in the bathroom with you. As mentioned in a previous post I am having some "issues" and spend quite a bit of time in there each day. So does Campbell - on the bouncy seat. (gross I know...) Same goes for taking a shower. Oh and if they start screaming like a teradactyl part way through - you won't actually finish getting ready.
-Dinner with your husband involves taking turns. One eats, one bounces on the exercise ball with the baby. Forget watching a movie or listening to nice music - there's no need since you can't hear it over the hum of the vacuum used to soothe the baby.
-Newborns cry. A lot. Even when they take zantac for the tummies. And they need to be held. A lot. And they poop. A lot.
-Your house becomes a mess. It looks like Fisher Price exploded everywhere. No matter how many times I SWORE I wouldn't be that mom - I am. There are burp clothes, bouncy chairs, swings, boppies, socks, blankets, pacifiers, etc...everywhere.   It's a good day if I get the bed made and the dishwasher unloaded. Anything else is a bonus.

And you know what? I wouldn't trade it for the world. For all the "stressful" things they don't teach you in the books - there are a thousand wonderful things they don't teach you either: the feeling of your baby reaching up and putting there tiny arm around your neck; the quiet moments early in the morning when it's just the two of you awake; having their itty bitty body fall asleep on your chest; the smile they give you right as they are falling asleep; the precious little noises they make. It is truly wonderful. In short, I LOVE my new full time job. My boss is a little demanding and kind of loud, but I am head over heels in love with her and wouldn't change it for the world.

When I feel really overwhelmed I can't help but think - I was supposed to be doing this for two babies. I should be nursing two babies. I should be waking up with two babies. I should be changing two baby's diapers. I should be pushing a double BOB stroller on my walks.  I should be hauling two car seats in and out of the car. And I'm not. I would gladly be overwhelmed with the newborn stage  - times two - if it meant Parker was here with us.

Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly thankful for my baby girl ... but I'd be lying if I didn't say that there is still a part of me longing for her sister to be here with us.