Apparently I'm a newbie...

aka I was a great mom until I had a baby...

As it turns out, I am quite the novice at this whole motherhood business. It's only been 8 weeks and I've made mistakes that would make you embarrassed for me.

If you would have asked me 9 months ago, I would have told you that I had this whole parenthood thing figured out. After all I've taught elementary school for 8 years. (Elementary school. Like 5-12 year olds. Not newborns.) I knew the catch phrases, read some books, subscribed to Baby Center, googled researched every question known to man,  had seen several friends parent the "right"& the "wrong" way and just knew their experience would be our education. Armchair parenting is what my friend Heather calls it - and I was a whiz at it.

Ha.

Sooooo.... guess which mama went to church last Sunday and didn't put any diapers in the diaper bag? Yep. It really happened. Then my daughter had a huge blow-out during communion (!) and I was left to search through the church nursery for diapers. LUCKILY there was one that was 4 sizes too big. Better too big than too small right? And it was such a big blow-out that I didn't have enough wipes. LUCKILY they had plenty of wipes. Oh geez. You would think I would learn. Nope. The next day I left my parents' house for a morning of errands with my mom and left my hooter hider AND any blankets (after all its 100+ degrees - who needs blankets?!) at home. Thankfully my dear friend Andrea lent me hers and I didn't have to show the world the "ladies".  Oh heavens.

And apparently you have to make babies take naps? No book I read told me that! It just said that babies sleep 14-16 hours a day. Easy right? They fall asleep if they are tired and stay awake if not...just like me. Apparently not. I knew some friends had "sleepers" (And between you and me those friends also left the hospital in their pre-prego jeans. yeah right. ) Well my child clearly wasn't ever tired because she didn't take any naps. At all. But she cried like crazy because she had colic. reflux. newborn fussiness. an immature nervous system. was over-stimulated. whatever - it wasn't because she was tired. Well I learned that you have to make them take naps.  True. You have to watch for drowsy signs after only 1-2 hours of awake time and then soothe them to sleep. Huh. Very interesting. I just thought my child wasn't a sleeper. And now that I know that...she doesn't seem that colicky any more. She's not exactly the Happiest Baby on the Block - but she is much happier.  And is getting fat rolls. The wonders of sleep. We are on day 3 in a row of her getting at least 3 naps of 2-3 hours each. (Now as soon as I say that - she will flip a switch and throw me for a loop, but I'm enjoying it as much as I can.)

clueless.

My poor baby. Luckily her daddy's a doctor - surely he has this whole parenthood business figured out, right? Ha.

Please don't tell my pediatrician....