Lessons from this week + a few nursery pics

1. Bluebell is still my favorite ice cream. #1 - Mocha Madness. #2 - Moolineum Crunch. YUM-O. This is also helping Operation: Get Fatty continue at a successful rate.


2. Water towers are "So Mid-West"  -Mathew Good.   Apparently my husband is an expert on water towers?! I learned all about the difference between water towers and resevours (I can't even spell the silly word)  and why the later is better. I thought every town had water towers? Apparently not.


3. The Hurt Locker won picture of the year due to political reasons not because it's an amazing movie. Good movie - definitely NOT picture of the year. Just my opinion.


4. Sewing machines and B. Good do NOT get along. This is not a new lesson - just reiterated from childhood. After not being able to rethread my stupid needle that wouldn't stay threaded some 37 times this week, I told my mom to take home the stupid sewing machine and not leave it here with me.


5. My mom, on the other hand, continues to dazzle me with her sewing skills. She is amazing. Curtains from scratch - no pattern. Enough said.


6. People like to stare at pregnant women. I often wonder what they are thinking...but I don't think that I really want to know.


Speaking of #4 & 5, here are a few pics of what my mom and I accomplished during spring break. It was pretty much a working break - sun up to sun down each day. In short we painted, shampooed carpets,  rearranged furniture, designed & sewed nursery bedding (including a bumper, dust ruffle, glider cushions, quilt & curtains), embroidered baby blankets, made WAY too many trips to Hobby Lobby and got ready to welcome a baby girl into the Good home. 

new guest bedroom color kind of a butter yellow (suede finish, ralph lauren)

Baby Hope's room - Ready for furniture! 

curtains made from scratch

bumper & dust ruffle

quilt for baby hope - still a work in progress

remember the crackled letters? Here's the final product!

A few bump pics

Remember when I said that one of my besties - the PROFESSIONAL photographer CC Miller, took some pics at my shower? Well we also squeezed in a quickie belly bump session (Sorry sarah - we didn't mean to make the sausage balls burn while we were doing a photo shoot - but FYI your front room is a GREAT place for pics!!)

Check out Carissa's work  & my growing bump here:

http://www.ccmillerphotography.com/blog/

And remember, if you are in the market for a wedding, engagement, baby, family, senior pic or children's photographer - check her out! she is incredibly talented!


C- you rock girlie! Thank you so much for not only coming and celebrating my babies but for being my best friend. I love you sweet friend and can't wait for Campbell to meet her aunt CC!

Shower Madness

Both Friday AND Saturday I was completely spoiled and got to enjoy TWO showers!

Friday, some of my friends from our ELL department threw a shower for me. We had a wonderful time celebrating together. I will truly miss working with these girls next year!

DELICIOUS cake!

Karen, Brianna, Valerie, Selena

Melinda, Cindi, Beth, Jennifer, Jan

Campbell got some ridiculously cute onesies like this one

Saturday morning, some of my best friends threw a baby shower brunch with scrumptious food, lots of special friends and adorable gifts galore. I wish I could have gotten pictures of everyone there. I didn't. LUCKILY I had a real life professional photographer there - none other than one of my besties, Carissa Miller of CCMiller photography. If you need pictures taken, you should seriously check out her blog here. She is simply amazing. So this means that I will be doing another shower blog later in when I get those pics.  Bet you can't wait=)

Brooke, Erin, & Sarah - my wonderful hostesses

Andrea, Cori, Carissa - my Tulsa girls who made the drive to KC!!

My sweet mom & me

Heather & Kristin (I've known this girl since THIRD GRADE!!)

Little Miss Leighton - Campbell requested that she have a friend there also=)

Lea Anne, Keri, Mardell, Ann, Katie - school friends

Shower festivities - celebrity baby guess who. I'm not into shower games, but this was fun- all those Friday afternoons of reading People paid off!

My girlfriends made sure Parker was represented on Saturday with this beautiful vase & the peace lilly. I was so deeply touched by this. Both will have a very special place in our home. 

This weekend was incredibly special. I have always been a "girlfriend" girl and it was so fun to get to have so many of those special people in 1 room. I can't wait for Campbell to get to know all of these fantastic ladies!

Bittersweet

I woke up this morning with a whirlwind of thoughts and the lyrics to The Verve's Bittersweet Symphony circling through my mind:


Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life
Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah
No change, I can't change, I can't change, I can't change,
but I'm here in my mold , I am here in my mold
But I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mold, no, no, no, no, no


In so many ways, this song sums up what's going on in my brain right now. (Well, not the slave to the money than you die - part...) I am pretty sure the writer had something way different in mind when he wrote the lyrics, but it has really spoken into my life lately. This life, the symphony, these circumstances, are the mold that I am in right now. I can't change them. I can wonder why I am in this mold, why this happened, why I lost a baby, why "me", why "us", but I might not know the answers. I have to accept that some things are left unanswered. People can tell me until they are blue in the face that there is a reason for this, or that God needed my baby in heaven, but it doesn't change the sadness in my heart. My favorite part of the song is the line about feeling like a million different people from one day to the next. I don't feel like a million different people, but I truly feel like all the emotions swirling around in my heart are different forms of me. All of these boil down into to main categories: celebration & grief. At times I am an expectant mom, cherishing kicks and tumbles. Making nursery plans. Contemplating childbirth. Listening to her heartbeat. Discussing nursing. Seeking advice. Then at times I am a grieving mom. Thinking about a baby in heaven. Wondering what she looks like. Does she know how much I love her? How much I miss feeling her kicks also? Can she see me? Does she miss being in my tummy with her sister? Are my grandmas taking care of her? Is she playing with other babies? What will her birth be like? What arrangements will we make for her body? How can we make the most of those few moments with her? Someone described it to me the other day as a schizofrenia of feelings.... mixing the joy and heartache. It struck me deeply because that is exactly how I feel. 


I have this urge to bring her up in discussions as casually as I bring up Campbell. It's like I need people to know that she has significance in my life. I am sure this makes people uncomfortable - I can see the looks of discomfort on their faces, but I need to talk about her. She is, and always will be, one of my babies. It's like I want people to know I have another baby I love. 


This week it seemed like I was bombarded with "twins". During testing, we had a story about twin girls that I had to listen to not 1, but 4 students read out loud to me and ask them questions about. One of the girls I tested was an identical twin. She was so excited about me having twins and I use to tease her that we were naming the babies after her and her sister. I heard stories about twins this week. I noticed more sets of twins at school. I don't think it was that I was confronted with it more - I think it's that I notice it more. 


I think the reason this is on the forefront of my heart this morning is we are in baby shower season. Don't get me wrong - I love parties - especially when they are for me:). Yesterday my wonderful ELL co-workers threw a surprise shower at happy hour for me & Campbell. They showered us with lots of love, tons of presents, yummy cake & well wishes - at a bar=) (I loved the looks on the other patron's faces at seeing a preggo at a bar having a baby shower - especially during the Big 12 tournament. I almost ordered a beer just to see what the waitress would say.)  It was absolutely wonderful. I was shocked and honored at how many came out to celebrate with us. And incredibly touched that my friends would take the time to throw the party.  Today my girlfriends are throwing a baby shower for me. My mom's in town, my girls from Tulsa are driving up - it will be  a wonderful celebration. I am really pumped for it. I got my hair done this week for it, bought a new outfit and even did my nails.  As excited as I am (and was yesterday) it's fresh in my mind, that this is for one baby, not two. Gifts, cards, well wishes - for one baby. Deep down, I know both babies will be there with me today as they always will be. 


Campbell & Parker, 
Today I am celebrating both of you. One name might be on a cake,  written in cards or  on gifts - but both of your names are on my heart and in my mind. I love you both to the moon and back - no matter where you are. Get ready for lots of "ooohhhhs and ahhhhhs" and sweet treats today baby girls. 


And yes, I will be posting lots of pictures from the showers later this weekend!

27 weeks - Rock on Baby Hope!

We had our follow up with the perinatologist today it was good news all around. I get all nervous when ever we have these appointments - sweaty palms, racing heart, sudden desire to pee (more so than your typical prego desire). I think it's a combination of memories from when I first went to the office to fear of what I could be learning. 
ANYWAYS - all went well - very well in fact! Baby Hope is now a whoping 1lb 10 oz.  and extremely - I mean EXTREMELY active. Half the time I feel like there is a dance party going on in my belly. That little girl is a dancing MACHINE! Last night I am pretty sure she was doing the splits - either that or she was really excited that the Oscars were on. No complaints though - I love every single little kick, punch, jab & flutter she gives me.  (Rock on Baby Hope-we will have lots of dance parties when you get here!) She is breach and sitting in my pelvic cavity -which explains the need to pee every 5 minutes.  Our doctor said she looked wonderful and was very happy with her growth and the overall scan - so happy  in fact, that we don't even have to go back for 4 more weeks. HUGE RELIEF! We are still getting lots of monitoring with our new OB just to make sure everything stays as good as it is. 


We went to our childbirth class yesterday and it actually ended up being better than I anticipated. We had a fantastic teacher and we BOTH learned lots of stuff. (Yes - even my doctor husband who has delivered lots of babies learned how to be a husband during birth as opposed to the doctor- two VERY different roles) It's funny because this whole time I have been on the fence about childbirth as far as going natural or using meds. At first I wanted to do natural. Then when we found out we were having twins, a lot of the research I read suggested using meds due to the higher need for a C section. Then when we lost Parker, I just wanted to get the birth over with  - and didn't want to feel it. Just being honest. When I walked into the class yesterday I was undecided and thought the class/video/discussion etc would push me to the medication side, but it actually did the opposite. Bottom line, I, like any other mom out there want my baby to get here as safely as possible. But I think I want to do it natural. I feel like it's something I can do for both of my babies. My OB has said that I am at no higher risk for C section than normal.  I still need to do a lot of thinking and researching and talking with others who have given birth naturally. The way I look at it now, it can't be harder than what we have already gone through. And women all around the world, all through time have done this.  And with Mat on my side helping me out, I know we can do it. Still - got to do some thinking. I know this is a very debated subject by lots of women and I don't write this post for you to tell me what to do-I'll figure out what's best for me and the babies I'm delivering. I know that there are bonuses to both forms of childbirth and I don't judge anyone for either choice they have made- but I do feel very encouraged about the option of going natural. What BLEW my mind were the stats: In the state of Kansas 85-95% of all women have an epidural during childbirth! ALSO Kansas is significantly higher in the percentage of OBs who perform inductions. YIKES. Both were pretty high in relation to the rest of the nation and especially the world. Crazy. 


As far as the pain of childbirth, heck, ignorance is bliss, right?

significance

isn't it adorable?  last week i ordered this adorable bracelet from the vintage pearl. the owner is a super sweet girl who custom created this bracelet from two that i really liked. i love that a pearl -their birthstone joins their names.  i had seen a vintage pearl necklace on a friend's blog not too long ago and then another friend sent me her website last week. coincidence? i don't think so.  what's really ironic is that she's from tulsa  - my hometown. (you should really check her stuff out - she has some great stuff - i'm thinking birthday, mother's day or just an excuse for a fun piece of jewelry.)

for the past few weeks i have been searching for some sort of way to  recognize both of my babies and outwardly show their significance in my heart.  this bracelet was the perfect fit. a big thank you to erin at vintage pearl for being so great to work with!

Operation: Get Fatty---SUCCESS

Yesterday morning my Operation Get Fatty was deemed a success. My OB officially declared me a "good eater". Yeah that's what I want to hear after fasting for my glucose screening and getting in a wreck - all within 1 morning. Ouch. Apparently, I must have gone a little nuts with the whole trying to gain weight thing. As a proper lady, I won't tell you how much I have gained, but my friends, the scale is definitely tipping. It's truly remarkable that I'm still fitting in the same clothes I was 10 weeks ago. In my defense - there is a 6 pound difference between my first OB's office and my current OB's office that he didn't account for - that is 6 pounds not in my favor. AND again, in my defense, when we were told we were having twins and I was under weight for a twin pregnancy AND that one of our babies was a little smaller (well if our OB had given us an accurate diagnosis - we would have known why she was smaller) I had to start eating. And eat I did...

Okay enough excuses.  Let's be honest, I just like to eat. I eat and eat and eat. I always joke about the fact that I run so that I can eat whatever I want. Now I don't run and still eat whatever I want. 

And it's not like I can claim to be a sweet person or a salt person. Nope. It ALL sounds good. 

Oreos with cheetos? Yes please.

Nachos for breakfast? Will do.

Popcorn & hot tamales? Definitely.

An entire bag of Salt & Vinegar chips? Duh.

A box of peanut butter girl scout cookies? Yum.

By this point in pregnancy, I have seen it or most likely eaten it. And these people who only gain 10 or so pounds during pregnancy? Please. Or those who leave the hospital in their pre-preggo jeans?        
A) I don't buy it. B) You know where liars go.

Oh! And have I mentioned how everyone looks so freaking skinny to me right now? It's like everyone has lost about 25 pounds in my book. Hang out with me if you want to feel better about yourself because I will most likely ask you if you lost weight and tell you how great you look - all while downing an ice cream sundae.

Apparently I wasn't too concerned with my weight gain today because I had Chipotle for lunch.  I still rationalize that I need to fatten up baby Hope just in case she comes early. (Have I mentioned I can rationalize anything?! It's a talent) And dinner? OH BABY! Let me tell you. I had a sudden and urgent craving for peanut butter and banana pancakes. It came out of nowhere. Well - actually I think it's what Baby Hope wanted. I indulged and enjoyed. So I will share with you this yummy recipe. It's actually healthy and very filling. I think this just might become a Good family favorite. 

PEANUT BUTTER BANANA PANCAKES

    1  1/2 cups uncooked oats

    1/2 teaspoon baking powder

   1/2 large ripe banana

    1 1/4 cups milk

 3 tablespoons peanut butter     

Directions:

Put the uncooked oats in the blender and blend until an oat flour is formed. Pour flour into a large mixing bowl and add the baking powder, mixing well. Don't let this step scare you off.
In a separate bowl, mash the ripe banana and add the milk. Mix well, then add the peanut butter. Mix very well until the peanut butter has no chunks left.

Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients. Mix until just combined. Let the batter sit for 5 minutes.

While the batter is sitting, warm up skillet on the stove. Spray a skillet with a thin layer of nonstick cooking spray. When the batter is ready, drop by spoonful onto the skillet. The batter is thick, so either make small pancakes OR spread out the batter with a spoon.

PS: They are supposed to be dark. I didn't burn them.


RESPONSE:
These were really good. I added 2 tsp of raw sugar and next time I might throw in some chocolate chips for fun. I also spread a thin layer of peanut butter and sliced bananas on top. Good choice. 

So I will continue to eat and dream about the day when Baby Hope will be here and I can burn some of the baby weight off by taking her for runs in the BOB. Until then, I am sure operation fatty will continue right on track.

In all seriousness I am 100% ok with the weight gain. Motherhood is a beautiful thing. I have a baby girl that I am responsible for making sure she arrives here strong and healthy. She needs nutrients and I am her provider. I take that responsibility very seriously and I don't regret the changes it is causing my body to undergo. In reality, it really is an amazing thing - that my body will mold and shape to not only accommodate, but also form her tiny little body. It is worth every single pound to know that in a few short months she will be in my arms.