Lots going on. Birthdays. Anniversaries. Nursery decorating. Engagement picture taking. Instead of my blog becoming too ADD, I wrote two entries. There will be more this week as it is a crazy-busy time of year for us.
happy reading=)
4.19.2010
Speaking of birthdays...
So while I was busy turning 30 this weekend, Campbell was busy turning 33 weeks. She was incredibly active on my actual birthday which was by far the best birthday present. I had another bio-physical today and she scored a perfect 8 / 8. The silly tech got me all nervous because she wanted the doctor to come in and check something out with the amniotic fluid. (there really should be an ultrasound tech etiquette class. By this point, I am pretty sure I could teach it...) Everything ended up being just fine, but it had me worried for the longest 5 minutes ever that it took the doctor to come in and look at things.
She's breach ... again... This week it's a different kind of breach. Oh yes - there are several types of breach's and she has been in all of them. She just wasn't quite ready to stay head down so she's been doing all kinds of flips & turns. Looks like I need to break out the headstands again. I think she might be trying to fulfill her mama's dream of being Mary Lou Retton. All we need from her right now is a forward roll. You can do it Baby Hope!
Other than that - 3rd trimester is in full swing. Feeling pretty good, just tired. Holy Cow tired. And hungry. Starving really (but you wouldn't know it by looking at me). I will feel crazy hungry and then eat a few bites and be incredibly stuffed. I even managed to make a $13 salad at the Hen House salad bar today. I ate $3 worth.
My goal is to have the nursery all gussied up by the weekend, so stay tuned for pictures!
She's breach ... again... This week it's a different kind of breach. Oh yes - there are several types of breach's and she has been in all of them. She just wasn't quite ready to stay head down so she's been doing all kinds of flips & turns. Looks like I need to break out the headstands again. I think she might be trying to fulfill her mama's dream of being Mary Lou Retton. All we need from her right now is a forward roll. You can do it Baby Hope!
Other than that - 3rd trimester is in full swing. Feeling pretty good, just tired. Holy Cow tired. And hungry. Starving really (but you wouldn't know it by looking at me). I will feel crazy hungry and then eat a few bites and be incredibly stuffed. I even managed to make a $13 salad at the Hen House salad bar today. I ate $3 worth.
My goal is to have the nursery all gussied up by the weekend, so stay tuned for pictures!
The BIG 3-0...
This weekend I celebrated my 30th birthday. We had a low-key, yet fantastic weekend that included
apps at one eighty
a concert at the Uptown
a trip to the River Market
McGonigles steaks
Pedicures with my mom
home made birthday cake
the fire pit on our deck
church with my family
some wonderful naps
brunch at the Classic Cup
snapping pictures at Loose Park
a lazy Sunday afternoon
dinner out with friends
It was easy, relaxed & perfect. Everything I wanted for the Big 3-0. My sweet parents made the trip up to see us and we enjoyed just hanging out with them. This has definitely been one of my favorite birthdays. Here are a few pics of our wonderful weekend.
Brunch on the plaza
How cute are my parents? I made them pose so I could get some practice...
these two are my favorite...
4.15.2010
Open your eyes dear...
This morning before work, I took a moment and read this blog. Kristin Armstrong is one of my favorite bloggers. No I don't ACTUALLY know her. But I do stalk follow her blog consistently. I am pretty sure we would be friends if we lived in the same place.
If you don't know her, you should. She is Lance's ex (don't get me started on this... I can't stand L - she is WAY too good for him). She is a woman, a mom, a Christian, a runner, a girl's girl & a writer. She writes for runners' world but also has some great books out there too if you are interested. Short little devotional guides to give you a fresh look at the day. (She also just published a new one for moms) She is real. She'll talk about her love for God while enjoying a good glass of wine - my type of lady=)
ANYWAYS - her blog really spoke to me this morning. Take a few moments and read it. It will bless your day.
If you don't know her, you should. She is Lance's ex (don't get me started on this... I can't stand L - she is WAY too good for him). She is a woman, a mom, a Christian, a runner, a girl's girl & a writer. She writes for runners' world but also has some great books out there too if you are interested. Short little devotional guides to give you a fresh look at the day. (She also just published a new one for moms) She is real. She'll talk about her love for God while enjoying a good glass of wine - my type of lady=)
ANYWAYS - her blog really spoke to me this morning. Take a few moments and read it. It will bless your day.
4.10.2010
Hidden Treasures Galore
Last week a few of my good girl friends started talking about the River Market Antique Mall. What?! What's this wonderful place? Apparently everyone knew about this little jewel except me? Thanks for holding out on me gals.... Anyways, my mother-in-law (who came to town to have a girls' weekend with Campbell & I) and I ventured down there today and had quite an amazing experience. 4 floors of all kinds of fun treasures. Seriously - I couldn't believe all of the hidden treasures just waiting for me to purchase them and take them home with me. AND they were all pretty darn cheap! AND there was a nice guy who kept coming around and taking my treasures down to the front for me so I had free hands to keep buying. How nice is that?! And buy we did! (Yeah, yeah, yeah honey - you got to go to Vegas for a guys weekend & left your 8 month prego wife at home... I don't want to hear it....)
Here are a few pics of some of the treasures I found:
Here are a few pics of some of the treasures I found:
**My MOST favorite find is a sky blue trunk that I am going to crackle...unfortunately it wouldn't fit in my car... No worries - just means I get to back next weekend=) Stay tuned for a picture in the coming days!
some old children's books for decor
fun wall shelves
a crackled lamp
Might be one of my favorites - a picket fence shelf. Perfect for holding diapers & supplies.
4.07.2010
Sustenance...
I'm a big retrospect person. I like to look back at situations and try to see how I could do better next time, or see what lessons I can learn from a situation. Heck, if you gotta go through something crappy, might as well learn from it, right? So here are a few things I've learned - not so much for your viewing pleasure, but as a reminder to me when I look back through my blog in days, months, years to come.
1. You are stronger than you think you are.
As I was driving to work yesterday morning (on time for once...), the word sustenance popped into my head out of nowhere. Not exactly a common word to come to mind during morning rush hour when you are honking at people (road rage is not one of my finer qualities). So I went to dictionary.com and found this meaning which I really like:
*Disclaimer: As I have said several times, I really don't want to get preachy on my blog. I hate reading blogs that make me feel guilty or like I need to be a better Christian. Or need to pray more. Or go to church 12 times a week. (Yes I have a guilty conscience) So I won't go there.
I have to say, never have I understood the word sustenance like I do now. Looking back at the past 10 weeks, I can see how God sustained us. He carried us in the palm of his hand. I can honestly say that this has been the hardest thing I have gone through to date. I remember my dad saying to me when this first happened, "You are stronger than you think you are." So true dad. I have felt shielded, protected, upheld, cradled, nestled and loved. God not only strengthened me, but showed me strength that I didn't know I had. Every single morning that I didn't want to get out of bed and face the day, face pitiful looks, face awkward questions or comments, face the painful slap of truth, face the fear of the unknown...He sustained me. He sustained us and continues to do so day by day. He's given me joy while at the same time helped me work through my grief. He's helped me process through this and grow from this tragedy.
I have had several people ask me if I am angry with God and my answer is no. Am I confused? Am I hurt? Am I sad? Am I angry? Do I feel cheated? YES to all of the above. But to take my anger out on God doesn't make sense to me. After all, he is the author and perfecter of life. Did he take my baby? Did he want me to lose my baby? NO. I don't have all of the "theology" behind why "bad things happen to good people" figured out. I don't need to figure it out right now. I trust that He is enough for me.
2. Control Freak-oid
I confess. I am a control freak. I like everything to work my way and to be in charge. Just ask my husband. I started learning this little lesson this time last year when we were trying to get pregnant. I googled scientifically researched exactly how it should be done and 101 ways to boost fertility and thought I had it all figured out. I just knew I would be returning to school in August preggo. When we weren't pregnant at 3 months (yes - 3 little 'ol months) I scheduled an appointment with my OB to discuss infertility. I was/am that girl. Slowly but surely during that period of life, I realized I wasn't in control and had to surrender to another plan. Ouch. That's hard for a control freak. When we found out we were pregnant, we just knew it was a boy. The whole time, we just had a "feeling". Mat and I went for a 5 mile run the morning we found out and we kept referring to the baby as "him". Well the control freak again lost control at our 19 week appointment when I found out not only was it a girl, but two little girls to be exact. I was over the moon excited, but felt completely out of control...again. After all, this was NOT what I planned for. I had lots of research to do and needed to formulate my plan as to how to have a twin pregnancy, twin labor, breast feed twins, raise twins, send them to school, college, etc.... I was working on controlling the next 20 years of our/their life. When we found out we lost Parker, I was slapped in the face yet again with not being in control. So here I am 31 1/2 weeks and I have no idea when I will deliver or what exactly is to come. We are on a week to week basis from here on out and I have no control. Zero. We feel great about everything and Baby Hope got a perfect score at her first bio-physical screening this week. But still - we aren't in control. God is in control and he is enough. Daily I give that control back to him. I have to or I go crazy. Its easy for me to get anxious thinking about what could still happen, the small chance we could still lose Campbell. The small chance that she could be born with neurological problems. Instead of telling God how to do things, my prayer has become, "Lord I believe. Help my unbelief." He will sustain. He is enough.
That's all for now... I am sure there will be more to come my way. After all, that's the beauty of life and being a life long learner.
1. You are stronger than you think you are.
As I was driving to work yesterday morning (on time for once...), the word sustenance popped into my head out of nowhere. Not exactly a common word to come to mind during morning rush hour when you are honking at people (road rage is not one of my finer qualities). So I went to dictionary.com and found this meaning which I really like:
to be sustained; to keep (a person, the mind, the spirits, etc.) from giving way, as under trial or affliction.
*Disclaimer: As I have said several times, I really don't want to get preachy on my blog. I hate reading blogs that make me feel guilty or like I need to be a better Christian. Or need to pray more. Or go to church 12 times a week. (Yes I have a guilty conscience) So I won't go there.
I have to say, never have I understood the word sustenance like I do now. Looking back at the past 10 weeks, I can see how God sustained us. He carried us in the palm of his hand. I can honestly say that this has been the hardest thing I have gone through to date. I remember my dad saying to me when this first happened, "You are stronger than you think you are." So true dad. I have felt shielded, protected, upheld, cradled, nestled and loved. God not only strengthened me, but showed me strength that I didn't know I had. Every single morning that I didn't want to get out of bed and face the day, face pitiful looks, face awkward questions or comments, face the painful slap of truth, face the fear of the unknown...He sustained me. He sustained us and continues to do so day by day. He's given me joy while at the same time helped me work through my grief. He's helped me process through this and grow from this tragedy.
I have had several people ask me if I am angry with God and my answer is no. Am I confused? Am I hurt? Am I sad? Am I angry? Do I feel cheated? YES to all of the above. But to take my anger out on God doesn't make sense to me. After all, he is the author and perfecter of life. Did he take my baby? Did he want me to lose my baby? NO. I don't have all of the "theology" behind why "bad things happen to good people" figured out. I don't need to figure it out right now. I trust that He is enough for me.
2. Control Freak-oid
I confess. I am a control freak. I like everything to work my way and to be in charge. Just ask my husband. I started learning this little lesson this time last year when we were trying to get pregnant. I googled scientifically researched exactly how it should be done and 101 ways to boost fertility and thought I had it all figured out. I just knew I would be returning to school in August preggo. When we weren't pregnant at 3 months (yes - 3 little 'ol months) I scheduled an appointment with my OB to discuss infertility. I was/am that girl. Slowly but surely during that period of life, I realized I wasn't in control and had to surrender to another plan. Ouch. That's hard for a control freak. When we found out we were pregnant, we just knew it was a boy. The whole time, we just had a "feeling". Mat and I went for a 5 mile run the morning we found out and we kept referring to the baby as "him". Well the control freak again lost control at our 19 week appointment when I found out not only was it a girl, but two little girls to be exact. I was over the moon excited, but felt completely out of control...again. After all, this was NOT what I planned for. I had lots of research to do and needed to formulate my plan as to how to have a twin pregnancy, twin labor, breast feed twins, raise twins, send them to school, college, etc.... I was working on controlling the next 20 years of our/their life. When we found out we lost Parker, I was slapped in the face yet again with not being in control. So here I am 31 1/2 weeks and I have no idea when I will deliver or what exactly is to come. We are on a week to week basis from here on out and I have no control. Zero. We feel great about everything and Baby Hope got a perfect score at her first bio-physical screening this week. But still - we aren't in control. God is in control and he is enough. Daily I give that control back to him. I have to or I go crazy. Its easy for me to get anxious thinking about what could still happen, the small chance we could still lose Campbell. The small chance that she could be born with neurological problems. Instead of telling God how to do things, my prayer has become, "Lord I believe. Help my unbelief." He will sustain. He is enough.
That's all for now... I am sure there will be more to come my way. After all, that's the beauty of life and being a life long learner.
4.04.2010
31 weeks...look at that belly
There has been a bunch of random stuff going on - so I am going to practice my summarizing skills and share a little about each one. Here is my top 10 list in no particular order...
1. It's finally Spring AND it's April - my favorite month. Mat and I have been enjoying walks in the evening, sitting out on the deck, grilling out and finally starting to see some green grass. I adore spring. This month I turn 30, we celebrate 4 years of wedded bliss, my mother-in-law comes to town for a girls weekend, I am entering a 5K walk for Parkinsons, and my parents come up for a visit. What a great month to look forward to!
2. It's Easter weekend! I love Easter. Especially when we have a beautiful forecast. Mat and I have some serious easter egg dying to accomplish this weekend. There is something so refreshing and renewing about it. One of my favorite phrases from Tony Campolo kept coming to mind yesterday, "It's Friday, but Sunday's coming". Not to get preach-y but I love the promise of the resurrection. The promise of new life. The promise of hope. The promise that God isn't done with all this yet. The promise of making beauty from ashes. The resurrection has never touched me as deeply as it has this year.
3. Mat has his first actual FULL weekend off since January. My husband has been working his tail off during his first year in fellowship. By no means am I complaining - it's part of the gig. He's been involved in a couple different research projects in addition to the crazy schedule of a first year Cardiologist fellow. I am VERY PROUD to let you know that one of the projects is getting published in a national journal! This is a very big deal (or at least I think so!), especially for a first year fellow. He's going to be embarrassed that I included this in my blog - but whatever - I am very proud of him and it's such a blessing to see his hard work paying off! Good job babe!!
4. Campbell's nursery is coming along. It now has all of it's furniture in place and the curtains hung. Some of our best friends GAVE us their baby furniture. (seriously - how nice are some people?!) It is absolutely beautiful. I am waiting to post pictures until the room is all gussied up - but let me tell you - it is petty stinkin' CUTE! It's already become my favorite rooms in the house. I go in there and just kind of mess around or refold onesies. It's just so much fun to be in there and think about the fact that in just a few months she will be in there with me=) I'm trying to figure out the best place to put everything. What needs to be near the changing table? Where is the best place for clothes? How many sizes of clothes do I keep in the drawers at once? If you have advice - please let me know - I'm new at this whole "nursery" business.
5. Little Miss has lots of clothes. LOTS. So far, I have done 4 loads just of her laundry. Now - yes - that seems like a lot because it's in all sizes, but oh my goodness, girl clothes are so very cute...I think I see an addiction forming. She most definitely has more than Mat and I combined.
6. Speaking of Campbell Hope... We go back to our perinatologist on Monday. Things were so good at the last appointment, they gave me a 4 week break. After this week I will start going in for weekly bio-physical profiles on her. From what I googled scientifically researched this is a fancy-schmancy ultrasound that will measure her breathing, heart - rate, movement, amniotic fluid and muscle tone. She gets a score 0-10. If she gets a 10 - all is well and we wait another week. Anything below 6 is not good and they induce. We're believing that she is staying put for the full 40 weeks. I am also starting my weekly appointments with my OB to check things "down there". With two appointments each week - I feel like Campbell and I are going to be well looked after.
7. My school threw me a beautiful shower last week. It was absolutely wonderful! Yummy cake, beautiful presents, sweet friends - it was great. Campbell got lots of fun new things too: blankets, onesies, dresses, shoes, a KU tutu (Soooo cute!), bibs, books... I could go on and on. I have been very blessed to have my friends at work through all of this. Of course I got choked up and tried to thank them at the shower. When I cry it isn't pretty- there is lots of snot and choking sounds. I'm pretty sure I didn't adequately convey my gratitude. If any of you school friends are reading this - Thank you for all your help the past two months. For the hugs, cards, prayers, well wishes; for making me laugh so hard my tummy hurts (Wolf). My team has made all the difference in my return to school. I now think I will be able to make it as long as Baby Hope stays put. 36 days of school left people!
YUMMY cake!
My ELL team (minus Angie;( )
Dirvey modeling C's new tutu
8. 3rd trimester - music to my ears. So far, not too bad. More tired, a little more uncomfortable. Its getting hard to find a comfortable position. Some hip pain. Some rib pain. Some tailbone pain. Friends have warned me 3rd trimester gets rough, but so far - so good. So I am thankful for each day that I feel overall okay.
9. My kiddos are finishing up state testing. 4 weeks of it in fact. It's nice to see their hard work paying off and them doing such a great job. Don't get me started on AYP, NCLB and whether Obama is actually going to do anything worthwhile about this big mess our education system is in. AND REALLY don't get me started on the education funding fiasco that Kansas is currently suffering through. So Obama will bailout the automakers, but not the nation's future - education?! If they cut any more $$, teachers will all have to work on a volunteer basis (they already aren't adequately paid!). Don't hold such ridiculous expectations then take away our funding!! Okay, I am off my soap box. ANYWAYS- good job kids!
10. My crafty side has gone a little nuts. I use to hate crafts. Didn't even own a glue gun until a few weeks ago. This week I made a bow holder to hold all of C's precious hair bows. (Thanks Lori for the idea!!) and painted a lamp (I accidently forgot about it out on the deck and our first spring thunderstorm came ...and yeah...) I am now attempting a bird mobile. The first version didn't turn out so hot. Kind of like summer camp craft hour gone wrong. REALLY wrong. But there is serious-cute potential - so when my domestic diva, aka JAN BELL comes in a few weekends, she is going to help me "fix" it. I will wait to post a picture of the "pretty" version.
the bow holder...waiting to be filled with ridiculously cute bows
What a week it's been. We wrapped it up with a trip to the river market. Today we are off to an Easter bar-b-que. I adore Spring!
Happy Easter! Happy Spring! Happy April!
PS: If you are a reader of my blog - let me know. I'm just curious who is reading all of my randomness out there... If you are a fellow blogger, please leave your blog address so that I can check yours out.
PS: If you are a reader of my blog - let me know. I'm just curious who is reading all of my randomness out there... If you are a fellow blogger, please leave your blog address so that I can check yours out.
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